WTF?

today is friday....

therefore here at eMbLoG we are going to share some of whats going on in this country with some dumbassness updates...

our country and people around the world are plagued by dumbassness... once again dumbassness is an unfortunate vulnerability to being a dumbass!!! Let us start with the education system shall we!

This is Roger Graham an english teacher.... he has proven time and time again that the teachers are sometimes the ones who need to learn the lessons! He worked at the Newcastle Waldorf School and started writing love letters to a 16 year old student in 2001. he "got er done" so to speak with this student and was fired that same year, but re-hired again in 2003 only to be fired again in 2006 for the same reason. now get this the school has now decided to allow this dude to be hangin around the school again now as a consultant to the teachers (on what how to get in the cheerleaders pants?). so basically the third time is the charm...hopefully??? here is an excerpt from one of the letters he wrote to a student: 

                    "My luminous goddess! I yearn for your lips and arms … 

                      Our love remains: beautiful, sacred, impassioned, 

      meaningful and TRUE!"

to see the full article go to the Sydney Morning Herald article : Sacked teacher back at school

next on the dumbass list....

people who have no sense of what happens in the movies that actually CAN happen in real life and which CANT!

this is car driven by a 25 year old man who had stolen the car was trying to flee from police...which can we just discuss always ends in handcuffs, destruction, death, or injury for the person trying to avoid the long arm of the law....sooo trying to out drive cops = bad idea....this bright young Massachusetts man had the brilliant plan of attempting to drive the car off a public boat launch into the harbor... my brain says well if your drove into the water where did you think you were d=going to go from there?? take off and fly to another planet??? this action movie just turned sci-fi!

to check the article go to : Mass. man arrested after car chase ends in Wells Harbor

we are lucky for having such quick medical response in emergency in the U.S. with the ability to call 911....they mean business and if you have an EMERGENCY they will do all they can to help you...this next dumbass needs a lesson on what a real emergency is and what is not...

a british judge sentences a 76 year old man  to jail time for calling 911 and requesting an ambulance more than 40 times... he was in pain, but his ailment was in fact a sore throat.... while he was calling there were 40 people who had to wait an extra moment for an operator...dumbass.....  for full article: Brit's sore throat calls land him in jail

next on my list isnt so much dumbassness as it is just funny in general

this is actually a bit sad my friends, but this is skeeter:

the narcoleptic poodle (there is no sound):

well that my friends is the knowledge and waste of time i have for you today!!!

i hope you have cracked a smile or at least said...WHY THE F*&K ARE PEOPLE SUCH DUMBASSES???? 

enjoy your weekend... im outty 5000

feel free to ignore me, or feel free to adore me...

SHAZAAAAAAAM!

Today is a very special day in eMbLoG history....

we will be introducing some videos into the blog today...

since the hub bub all over the world was about michael jacksons funeral we will keep it light hearted as usual.... i will simply be showcasing a few or not so few of my favorite you tube finds along with some photos to pay tribute to the king of pop and the greatest entertainer that ever lived!!!!.... i hope they make you giggle or at least smile... you may have seen, heard, or even know the people who are in them, but i love to showcase a good laugh at any time...

 

 

 

 

let us start with of course a funny one it was made famous by this little boys contagious smile and of course his inability to correctly pronounce the english language...take a look:

next on the same subject is another example of just how funny the things that come out of little kids mouths can be....

  

 

sometimes it isnt always the kids that say the darndest things, but the animals we keep as pets....this one is for sure to make you giggle: 

 

this is M.J. and bubbles

 

  

I am a woman who will laugh at silly and stupid things. be it a fart joke, saying a silly word (fingertush), or something weirdo like a video with stick figures here is the famous : SCHFIFTY FIVE!

not to be outdone, but if the world were to truly end i would imagine this is what it would be like!

 

on a happier note, the world is not ending and this baby is hilarious

speaking of hilarious check out the cute girl in this video who doesnt realize the guest at the door is not there ONLY for her!

sometimes kids just gotta do what they gotta do....like in this video the older brother learns a very valuable lesson, dont stick your hand in the fire or you will get burned...or dont stick your finger in your baby brothers mouth or you will get bit.... but on a cool note this video was the most watched at one point last year....YAY CHARLIE!!!!

 

 

this is an exciting day  in eMbLoG history because it is the first of many posts to include video clips...while today will always be the day the nation put the greatest entertainer ever to rest in their thoughts, we celebrate his life with this next video...it is an eMbLoG tribute to the king of pop... Mr. Michael Jackson himself... he influenced my life greatly for my sincere love of music and of course my sincere love of watching my eldest sister make a crowd smile when she does her best MJ moves at any party including alcohol.... so here are some hundreds of prison inmates in some foreign prison doing a "THRILLER" tribute.... oh and yes, that gal aint no gal....she got a receding hairline.... 

So Michael...we salute you here at eMbLoG and all over the world....you have truly changed the world and will be missed! we love you R.I.P. ....

thats it for today folks enjoy  the videos and join the fan club/ group on facebook and stay tuned for more fun to come!

feel free to ignore me, or feel free to adore me...

parents

parents

I have this problem where sometimes i cant seem to get myself to shut up. then there are other times when i find i have nothing really interesting to say. Lately this has plagued me i have found nothing imperative to reach out to the masses... by masses i mean my family and a select few of my friends. I also have been extremely busy trying to finish up my last full semester as a college student... (loud screams are taking place in front of my computer screen)

i have truly been a delinquent blogger...

i have come to terms with this and realized the beauty of the blog is i get to say what i need to say and i can say it only when i want to.... so in light of that i would like to continue blissfully on with what i want to share with the world today..... drum roll please.......a continued lesson on poor parenting....

basically people all over the world are suffering from dumbassness as a result of poor role models, lack or entertainment, lack of resources, or just plain old lack of brain cells...

this nice gentleman has no chance of finding anyone to fill the gaping whole in his heart his mother apparently left... i do not know what she has done to him to make him this way, but see for yourself the affects of poor parenting....

 

this just proves one must truly be ready to be a parent and bring another human being into this world if they can be sure they are capable of guiding them in a positive direction to make them a functional part of society.... survey says : EHHHHHHHHHHH! 

you can always count on the great "american" families to teach kids at an early age how to respect their elders...here is an example of just what a good child should learn from mom and pop, including their behaviors....

 

the future shines bright for this little guy i can tell!!!! and the mom or whomever is lighting that lighter laughing hysterically im sure will be so proud to see these lessons be passed on for generations to come!

as a parent it seems one must have their priorities straight....like this mom who knows it is OBVIOUSLY more important to make sure the drinks are filled rather than keeping her child out of harms way!!!

next....

we have ratings on movies for violence and graphic content to keep visuals out of sight for young eyes. it has been proven that babies and small children are affected by horrific images seen at early ages in their future... here is an example of what not to do with your baby when you have a bachelor party to attend: 

heres an idea, maybe get the stripper for one hour less and spring for the babysitter??? but im just a college student so what do i know?

when i said earlier parents should keep their kids out of harms way i think this next photo's owner may have misunderstood what i meant....i didnt mean avoid all harm by locking your kid up, but rather pay attention to them damnit!

thats just not even close to funny.... ( i think this poodle just piddled though)

who needs a babysitter when you've got a pole, and some duct tape right???

 

this kids parents are at a wedding and this babysitter doesnt charge $10 / hour... BANK!!!

the thing about this next picture is not that this child is about to drink a beer, its that this man has passed down his hair to this poor child...

mullets = devil

oh and if you're going to give your kid beer, at least make sure its a light beer...puh-leeese!!

this might make for a funny photo opportunity, but notice how this baby has a very unhappy look on its face>???

i mean how would you like being naked and shoved between two huge pieces of bread and some lettuce???? not so much

if you see images like these in your home and your response isnt  oh shit its "chug it chug it"

you need to re-evaluate your parenting skills!!!

as far as good parenting i only know what i have learned and i have an awesome dad, and my sister is an awesome mother....if only the rest of the world was as good as they are we would be in great shape!!

with this is leave you all a little bit happier about your own lives than you were before.... stay tuned with the summer comes more  and more information that might do you all real good!!!

if you dont know when a new post is up check facebook because i will update it on there that i have a new post up...stay cool y'all

feel free to ignore me, feel free to adore me......

what does that say?

I have this problem where sometimes i cant seem to get myself to shut up. then there are other times when i find i have nothing really interesting to say. Lately this has plagued me i have found nothing imperative to reach out to the masses... by masses i mean my family and a select few of my friends. I also have been extremely busy trying to finish up my last full semester as a college student... (loud screams are taking place in front of my computer screams so try to imagine them). 

I was at home and found it funny when i noticed a huge spelling mistake on a sign of a grocery store one day (valentine's day) and it went form innocent to dirty in a split second. I thought to myself there has to be more out there like this and i am sure i am not the first person to explore this topic. I also thought if it was funny to me why not share this laughter with as many people as i can convince to read this blog post. so here you have it...today i will bringing to you some funny signage and sign mistakes i have found in my travels or just travleing around the internet..

Let's get this started with a simple means of language barriers....the English language is really a very difficult language. one minute you are simply translating, but the next you are making a really weird and sort of humorous sign. (i am not making fun of anyone, just the sign)

 

this next photo addresses yet another serious topic, but still this is funny: 

 

What i want to know is where did he find the fancy markers to color this beautiful sign huh??? it isnt just in pen or plain black its color coordinated?

This next photo is from an unknown location and im saddened by that because if knew where it was taken from i would want to go there, because who doesnt love ninjas???

this next sign is a a true clue that wherever this sign is posted...that particular town is responsible for all the dumbassness taking over our country...

this next photo is cheesy, but kinda funny that somebody actually posted it?

this next one i dont know what it means or anything like that, but its strictly for my sister Andrea....

i am also like a teenager and this is just funny :

i am unaware of where this is but how true???

do you think the people who print signs purposely make the pictures dirty because they are bored with making signs or what? it cant be accidental that many times right?

This previous also applies for my sister... sorry andrea

i could go on for days about this because there is so many signs out there just like these. this is just a taste of what you could find if you take the time to look. If you are looking for a good laugh find your way to these sites for guaranteed laughter...if you dont laugh you have no soul... i spend a minimum of an hour a day checking out these sites: 

- www.whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com

- www.textsfromlastnight.com

i hope you have missed me and i may not be making a full recovered return being that im smack dab in the middle of finals, but i figured i needed to blog and owed it to you all to say something rather than nothing. that is all

feel free to ignore me, or feel free to adore me...

hiatus

i am a terrible blogger. especially right now with school coming to an end and family functions for the wedding only beginning. i would like to state that i will be on hiatus not for a certain amount of time. i will be blogging here and there and i will make you laugh i swear ( whoa! I rhymed yall) i just want you to know that when i post the words HIATUS or nothing at all please be informed that its because my life is not allowing me the time to slow down and breathe let alone time to blog. im so sorry and i love you all

feelfree to ignore me, or feel free to adore me

slang-tastic

The time ticks by slowly, but in actuality the time flies right by us and sometimes we fail to see it.

i thought the best way to make one understand this is through one of my favorite things..... SLANG! i love slang phrases and old time slang. this will be a comparative look at how we express ourselves today as opposed to those of yesteryear...

The following are a few of my favorite now terms...terms (some of which ive never heard used) that todays generation find in their daily vocabulary.

(these can be found on urbandictionary.com)

FriendTM April 6

2023 up, 3628 down

When a friend low on cash (the paper kind) pays the group's bill on their debit card in order to get the cash from their friends--therefore avoiding both the ATM surcharge and the inconvenience of finding one.

"Hey guys, can I FriendTM this? I don't have any cash."

april baby April 1

1578 up, 6204 down

A term coined by lil wayne, meaning a fool.

"He's an april baby for thinking he could ever get with someone like her."

Bromance March 27

7722 up, 1269 down

Describes the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males.

Steve: Ah, Dave!!! I can't believe you stole this first pressing of Aladdin Sane from your record store for me. We were just talking about this the other night.

Dave: No sweat, pal.

Steve: That is some full-on bromance. You're the man.

bitchassness March 22

4562 up, 2087 down

Term coined by Diddy on Making the Band. Overall stank actions towards others through words, facial expressions, and/or song. Symptoms include: thinking your better than those around you, not speaking your true feelings, throwing large amounts of shade.

Tony: "Dont fuck up in our friendship Kile ... cause i will call u out on ur BitchAssNESS!!!"

Kile: "Doctor, is there something we can do??? is there something that i can take to cure this bitchassness???"

cewebrity March 18

1364 up, 5952 down

an internet personality that has attained celebrity

Have you seen that kid from pixieland.org? Holy crap he's poppin up everywhere including conan o'brien...when did he become a cewebrity?

Strand-up comedy March 8

990 up, 8671 down

The way one's hair can look first thing in the morning, sticking straight up in all directions.

When Bob woke up this morning, his hair looked like a strand-up comedy.

dejabrew March 6

6944 up, 1661 down

Much like deja vu dejabrew is when you start to remember things you did last night while drinking an excessive amount of beer.

I remember now standing on the bar stool pissing into my beer mug while laughing at anything and everything. Oh my God, dejabrew! I won't ever be able to face those people again.

prostiboots February 7

6740 up, 1465 down

Boots that are leather, highheeled, and thigh high just like ones found on a prostitute.

She best take off those prostiboots before someone asks her what she charges!

trusticles January 12

4972 up, 2036 down

Having the balls to trust someone in a difficult situation, when the failure of that trust would result in injury or financial loss.

I know I got my law degree online, but we're family. Show me you've got some big trusticles and let me defend you in court!

screwvenir December 4, 2008

8103 up, 728 down

anything that you keep (whether stolen or given to you) from someone's house after you've slept with them.

Laura didn't really like doing it with Chip so much, but she did nab a copy of Time Magazine with Mick Jagger on it from his house as a screwvenir.

Now those really give me a little chuckle here and there...

let us take a look at the difference in generations, here are some slang terms from the older generations:

Beat Feet

Leave the scene in a hurry.

Cherry

Pristine, Totally Clean. Example: "That rod is cherry"!

Drawing Designs

Usually some guy looking a girl over REAL good. Example: Ron was really drawing designs on Carolyn at the party last night.

Going Steady

If you were "Going Steady", you were dating only one special person.

airdale - an extreme loner

alkee stiff - a tramp that consumed alcohol

cackleberries - eggs

A Lick and a Promise: To do a haphazard job. "She just gave it a lick and a promise."

Lily Liver: Someone who is a coward.

some of the older ones are weirder, or not funny.... however i found it incredibly interesting to see how incredibly indulgent our generation is and how much more we share about our personal lives...

this is just a small informative posting today... if you wish to learn more about the old slang feel free to google slang, old slang, old time slang, or any of the decades slang. also feel free to visit urban dictionary. i barely skimmed the surface the page is filled with informative hilarity.

that's all folks

Feel free to ignore me, or feel free to adore me....