Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Where have I heard that before?

Today was a gloomy and rainy day here in Chicago. I felt it necessary to share with you some of what I thought were amazing inventions. To cut through the rainy day dreary eyes i found myself drifting into deep thought about some funny sayings that circulate within my world. By within my world i mean of course, sayings spoken  by people with whom i roll with. I feel tonight i shall bring some of the greatest one liners to the table, from some of the greatest people i know. yes, this means there is a chance i will be sharing wisdoms passed on to me along with pictures of these wise ones to share with the world their true greatness. 

First and foremost i would be lost in life without my rock and the trunk of my tree, my dad Kenny "Papak" K.  He is pictured  below 
Some of Ken's famous quotes include:
-One per customer
-Very interesting, but schtupid
-I'm the dad, you're the daughter
and the ever famous
- Single dad, three daughters

Next on my List is a lady who speaks of true knowledge far beyond her years. her famous one liners seem to be stuck in the past, but the knowledge is everlasting. The great Mary Lanesky famous for her "Maryisms" and she is pictured below channeling her inner Britney Spears (in the K-fed days):

Just a few of the best include:
- you can't get blood out of a turnip
- you're gonna stand out like a turd in a punch bowl
- why is everything in the house so caddywhompus?
- stifle it, just stifle it

one liners can include wise tidbits, commands, or specifically to this next honoree "comebacks." A dear friend of mine is notorious for many things, but one thing i have noticed is that she truly gives me a run for my money in the comeback category. This of course is the spitfire herself, Jessie. 

the most commonly heard in the neighborhood include:
- Shut it Mary!
- Suck it eat it
-shut it down
- Yo Yo, No No
- Totes!
- that's stups
- that's mines
- and the ever popular, DONKEY!

another famous quoter in my book that deserves a round of applause of free peanuts is the one and only Mimi Flo. She's not only my grandmother, but she is a hip hip lady.

-okay for you!
-incidently...
-phooey
-get on my mark, get set....TINKLE!!!

My two best friends in the whole world are my sisters. they are funny in their own right, but they work much better as a team so i will give props to two if the three legs of our sturdy tripod...Andrea and Lisa

-Every little bit helps
- oops, oops, oops, i dropped a deuce, deuce, deuce
-Excuse me, where do babies come from?
-you're my beffriend
-siblangs
-that is spot on
-refresh my memory, but do you work today?

A girl like me is lucky to have great family, great friends, and a happy outlook. One friend in particular may appear to the world as all toughness, but while being tough she bears within her  a great wisdom and humor. This is of course the great Karyn. She not only has many funny sayings and one liners, but she will be a feature within this blog because of her outstanding knowlegde of random facts. pictured below is Karyn, but in the future look forward to lots of learning in Karyn's corner.

-Life's lessons are learned one kick in the ass after another...
- Check your own flow
- whaddup suuuuun!
-wha haaaaaaaaaaaapened?


a dear friend of mine whom i have known for a mere 20 years is always full of funny quotes, which are usually maryisms or things she picks up off the street corners on which she works. Here is the famously truthful Abby (she is pictured below, no i know this is not Jesus) 
- make sure you take lot's of pictures tonight, and by that i mean lots of pictures of me
- call me later....uh uh uh, okaaaaaay
- that's the greatest thing since sliced bread
- they are bat shit crazy


those are the few people and few things that i adore and could think of off the top of my head. today was a blahh kind of day and i felt the need to brighten things up! so i hope you all smile at least individually if not at the post as a whole. Remember, I am only as funny and interesting as the people i spend time with. so if you do not laugh at this at all, then you are most likely not funny! What's happenin'????

that's it y'all...Love & Kosher hot dogs EMBO

Feel free to ignore me, or feel free to adore me

why didn i think of that?

Some of my dreams include to be a rock star, a movie star, and to invent something incredbile... Here are just a few of my recent faves including:


1.jpg image by C5tXzY32
Never go to bed lonely again....

     


You never have to worry about how you are going to blow your runny nose again?

And for my personal favorite and really the only one i would use: 

rocking out while cleaning off? Sounds like splendorous bubbliness!!

I will be on the prowl later today for a new posting section i like to call the "Douche Bag of the Day." somebody who engages in such douche baggery you feel the need to call them out on a public forum.... please inform me of this douche bag and i will be here to facilitate such "calling out." 

i'm off to engage in the real world for a few short hours...

Feel free to ignore me, or feel free to adore me!

Monday, March 30, 2009

boom bitch what's happenin' WHAT?



This is beginning of a beautiful friendship: Embo and her adoring fans which have yet to show up. 

I have thought to myself many times i have random thoughts flowing through my tiny pee wee brain and sometimes they are funny, smart, dumb, annoying, and just plain dull. After thinking this i was tired and had to have a nap. After all i am only capable of small amounts of strenuous thinking my motherboard freezes and shuts down. I proceeded to have snack and resume thinking that that world may be interested or bored to death by what i have to say. another nap and shower were to follow this sweaty think session. So feel free to ignore me or feel free to adore me that's what life is all about... i'll be back with much more beautiful "Funnialities," (see footnote) so relax, put on your pj's grab a pint of Ben & Jerry's or of Jim Beam whichever suits your liking and buckle up because my life and the inner workings of my brain is always and will remain a very bumpy road.....

i apologize for the monstrous run on sentence!





Footnote: funniality: a humorous outburst or funny characteristic one person, place, or thing, may possess.